Short Story II

Due to the underwhelming response I recieved from my last post, I suspect that my short story was so awesome, it left everyone speechless. Nothing could make me happier. However, thanks to those who had enough discipline of mind to actually leave comments. Your comments are the fuel of my spirit.

So, prepare to be awed with the next portion of the story. Are you ready? Strap yourself into your seat and grab a paper-bag....

Liam cautiously rolled onto his side. Wincing with pain, he sat up. His head wobbled and he braced himself with his arms. He closed his eyes because the whole world was waving back and forth like the water in a bowl that has just been shaken. It took a few minutes for him to stabilize himself. In order to avoid thinking about the many areas of pain throughout his body, he focused on how he ended up in a gutter with a broken body. He reflected on the previous night, scenes of violence flashed in his mind. He tried to remember why he had been beaten.

It was a Wednesday night. Wednesday night’s were unexciting for Liam. He would start his dinner around 6:30. He may watch T.V, but there weren’t any shows that interested him. He would restlessly pace around the house searching for something to keep his mind busy. He may call his parents, or he may go on a walk. Inevitably, he would wind up in bed around 8:30 or 9:00. He would read until midnight and then wake up happy because Wednesday was over.

This Wednesday started as uneventful as the rest. By the time Liam had started his drive home for another boring evening, the world seemed to explode in chaos. As he approached the freeway to enter, he noticed that all traffic was stopped. Not just on the on-ramp, but traffic was stopped on both sides of the freeway. Liam tuned his radio to a local all news station.

Short Story Ideas

I am aspiring to write my own short story, for my own pleasure. I thought it might be fun to provide an intro to a story I have been thinking of and solicit ideas from those who read my blog on where to take the story next. So, if you have a few minutes, read my intro and let me know if I screwed up any grammar and also let me know where else I could take the story:

Metallic tasting blood seeped into his mouth. His eyes popped open and his view was consumed by an aluminum bat approaching his face quickly. Too tired to react with anything more than the most primitive motions; his eyes simply closed when the bat made contact. Starbursts erupted behind his closed lids. A piercing buzz filled his ears and as the pain burst through his head. Unconsciousness mercifully saved him from feeling the subsequent blows.

Bright light strived to breach his eye-lids. The filtered orange-pink light was the first sensation Liam noticed as he returned to consciousness. He knew he had sustained a violent beating and was amazed that he wasn’t dead. Taking great care to evaluate his injuries, he first took metered breaths. No pain resulted from his breathing. Relieved that he could breathe comfortably, he decided to test his vision. Dirt had become lodged in his eyes, cemented by the involuntary tears of pain that occurred sometime during the pummeling he took. He slowly opened his eyes and the thin layer of dirt cracked and fell away. Liam had to blink a few times to focus his vision. He was laying sideways, his head resting on the sidewalk and the rest of his body sprawled in the gutter. Now he noticed a deep, pulsing ache that was perfectly timed with his heartbeat at both the base of his skull and temples. He hoped that he had no permanent damage to his head or neck, so only used his eyes at first to evaluate his surroundings. Low warehouses and storage structures surrounded him. Seagulls floated lazily in the sky searching food. A solitary wispy cloud moved quickly against the bright blue backdrop of the sky. Grateful that he wasn’t blind he moved on to his hearing. A persistent buzzing loomed in his ears, as if he had gone to a loud rock concert the night before. The natural sounds were distant, but he could recognize most of them. Waves were crashing against a nearby beach and seagulls screeched. Liam moved his hands and arms carefully. Satisfied that no bones were broken, he tenderly scanned the rest of his body. He found a large lump behind his forehead. Dried blood covered his left ear and the left-side of his neck. Two teeth were missing from his mouth. His clothes were torn and frayed. Remembering being dragged behind a slow-moving car across a warehouse floor, he was surprised he even had clothes on. He completed his evaluation by moving his legs and feet. Bruises covered his arms, wrists and legs. When the assault first started, he recalled trying to defend himself. Later, he remembered groaning with pain, but was unable to hold his hands up anymore.

Raspberries to the Gateway!

Saturday night, we were treated to a movie and movie snacks by our good friends, Ryan and Christine. They asked us to meet at the Gateway around 7:00. We arrived early, fearing the length of time it would take to park and wait in line. We had about 45 minutes to walk around and window shop before meeting our friends.

The movie was enjoyable and it was nice to be on a date. After the movie, we grabbed a few parking validations so that we wouldn’t have to pay for parking. We were stuck in the claustrophobic parking structure for 30 minutes, waiting our turn to get out. When we presented our validation to the parking attendant, I was rudely told that they only accept one 2-hour movie validation per car. She then brusquely told me that I owed her three dollars. I handed the parking witch my debit card. Her rude tone turned into poorly veiled anger as she told me that debit cards are not accepted and that she needed cash or check. I lost my temper. I told her that she was ridiculous. Thankfully, Laurie had cash. As I handed the witch her cash, she gave me a sarcastic ‘Have a good night’. My hackles were raised by her rudeness and I insulted her with a “Blow it out your ass" before I pulled away.

Perhaps I took it too far, picking on a single parking attendant. But I really felt like I was telling Larry H. and his horrible company off. The parking witch represented the Gateway and represented the policies created by Larry H’s company. I am still seething about the lame policy at the Gateway that forces movie-goers to pay for parking. The movie tickets and snacks are already outrageously priced.

I am grateful to my friends for treating us to a show, and if I had to pay for the movie tickets myself, I would be even more upset. I will never choose to go to the Gateway to see a movie again. I have plenty of other nice theaters within a 20-minute drive that don’t charge for parking.