Happy Birthday to Me

Wow, 31 years old. I remeber thinking about being an adult when I was a kid. 20 was getting up there in years and 31 was just ridiculously old. I try to tell my wife that to the mind of a 10 year old, I should be wearing depends and using a walker. But she refuses to change my diapers, so I have to just keep using the toilet.

The best thing that happened to me for my birthday is finding out what gender our "Bun-in-the-oven" is. It's a girl, which is wonderful and exciting. The Boy calls her Shaak-Ti, after a female Jedi who is an amazing fighter in the Clone Wars cartoons.

Because of the beauty this little girl will undoubtedly have, I am going to start Ninja training. As a Ninja-Dad, I can track her dates, find out where they live and siletnly execute the entire family of any boy who does inappropriate things to my daughter. Just think about it, here's some punk kid putting the moves on Shaak-Ti and just as his hand starts wandering....shuriken to the eyeball....

Sure, I will have to sacrifice my current values and morals to be a Ninja, but it's worth it to defend the honor of my little Shaak-Ti.