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Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Ignore Famous People!

The decision in the Michael Jackson trials of “Not-Guilty” has caused frantic conversation in my office about whether or not he was really guilty. Whenever someone asks me that question, I reply through grinding teeth and with a metered pace: “I think Michael Jackson is a very sick man. I believe he was capable of the things he was charged with. I do not think there was enough credible evidence to convict him.” What a stupid answer. The skeptic in me believes he is a horrible, demented and sick man that did perpetrate the crimes he is accused of, and has likely committed more crimes that we don’t know about. I think he should be placed on the “Child Offender” watch list and have his children taken away from him. Needless to say, backing me into a corner in the work place and asking me to be honest about something, the honest answer to which will likely get me fired, is extremely tacky and inappropriate.

Additionally, why do we care that much about Michael Jackson? Vast segments of time have been squandered on deliberating his guilt or innocence. My coworkers have started spouting off “reliable” facts about the poor state of Michael’s finances that are somehow a direct result of him being on trial. When did they have the time to research these facts and why are they delivering them to me? It’s so painful to listen to people talk about this issue. It offends me more than getting kicked between the legs by an anonymous coworker.

I want to shake my fist indignantly at all famous people right now. It’s not just Michael Jackson, but its Tom Cruise and Russell Crowe and any other famous person in the news. Why are their personal lives so interesting to us? Is it really news that Tom Cruise is a Scientologist? Is your life so pitiful and boring that you must leech onto the lives of those we watch on TV and in the movies to make it interesting?

Many famous people lead para-normal lives. They are out of touch with the common person and have many have no idea what the average American does in a day. In fact, I suspect that many famous people don’t even know what is going on in the news. They have entourages that provide them with everything. People are actually hired to tell famous people what news is important, what clothes to wear, what to eat and who to date.

If famous people are not even keeping up with the world around them, why should we keep up with them? I think we could benefit from ignoring anyone famous for the next 3 months. If the focus that we expend on worrying about famous people and their personal lives were diverted to solving problems in our homes and communities, it would have two stellar results:

  1. Celebrities would stop behaving like spoiled ingrates and would cease vomiting the details of their personal lives for attention. We will therefore judge them on their performance in their respective fields, instead of, oh let’s say: what religion they belong to.
  2. Our homes and communities would become clean, safe and welcoming.